ADHD children who are bullied

Irma's story

We tend to think of children who have ADHD as the 'naughty ones'- the kids who are dishing out the bad behaviour that the 'good kids' have to put up with. At times this is true. Unfortunately, their inappropriate behaviour sometimes causes the other kids to reject them, and instead of getting the support that ADHD kids badly need, they are bullied.

I recently spoke to a mother of an ADHD child. Irma is a single mother and one of the most positive people I have ever met. I was stunned to hear that her son, Joe, had never been invited to a birthday party in his entire time at primary/elementary school. As well, he was frequently bullied at school. The kids would tease him, call him names and refuse to play with him.

Hoping to rectify the situation, Irma decided to throw Joe a graduation party. Just before the party, the kids went on school camp. Joe was used to camping and loved the outdoors. While several of the kids struggled with the activites, he completed them easily and was able to help some of the others. The kids were surprised at his expertise.

Most of the kids still refused the invitation to the party, but a few of the girls came.

Joe was also good at swimming. None of 'swimmers' were in his class at school. Irma made the effort to invite some of the kids around - one at a time. One of the boys, TJ, seemed more tolerant of Joe's behaviour than the others. He was happy to return to their house.

Irma went out of her way to help Joe cement this friendship. She would often pick both the boys up after swimming and, as TJ lived a long way away, invite TJ to sleep over. I'm sure this sometimes proved demanding during the school week but Irma perservered.

As well as seeking out activites that he was good at, Irma gave Joe all the love and positive feedback he needed.

Joe now has two swimming friends and his behaviour and grades at school have improved enormously. According to the boy I spoke to, Joe's behaviour isn't that bad any more and he fits in quite well with the other kids in his class.

I have no doubt the Irma deserves the credit for the improvement in Joe. She now has a much happier child. And what greater reward could a parent ask for!